Well, this was interesting. I assume that in these days of weird and wonderful technology, something would or could be inserted here to allow that ‘do do do do do do’ riff which is the theme to the ‘The Twilight Zone’ to play. If not, could we all join in a rousing rendition. It would be most appropriate.

Why? This was a cigar of two halves, if I may plunder one of sport’s worst cliches.

First, small cigars. For me, so rarely do they have a place. What is the point? I really don’t get it. Today, sort of. I sort of wanted a cigar but sort of didn’t, if that makes any sense – it makes no sense to me so don’t feel alone! Not had one for ages as been trying to catch up on work and drag myself out of chaos, self-imposed and otherwise (down at the beach shack, I try and do a spell of mother-sitting back in Brizzy every week and also collect all the samples – who is going to whinge when one is the Flor de Cana V Generaciones, their astonishing 30-Year-Old rum). But trying to head back to the shack, on a good run it takes around an hour 40. This time? Four hours. Peak hour and road works. Nightmare. Still have not found…