Robusto Rumble – SLR Regios - Four Square 2004 Rum - Lagavulin 8-Year-Old

Round three in the Robusto Rumble, though I have to kenfess that I am writing this a while after smoking it. It seems I have contracted the dreaded lurgy. So, at home desperately trying to fight off a combo of coronavirus/Ebola/SARS/lord knows what, I have dragged myself, at great personal cost but I am never one to whinge as Whipcrack can tell you, to the machine to try and tap out a few words so as we don’t miss deadlines. The sacrifices one makes…

As it happens, at the moment, the idea of a cigar is about as appealing as a tax audit. Once, or should I say if, I manage to make it through the current jungle fever, I hope to be back in form but until then, once I have submitted this one, I might have to go back to old notes. Fear not. I have enough for about 18 months. 

It does bring me to one of my absolute favourite quotes. One might think that, in these trying times, one might turn to Churchill or Gandhi or Hemingway, perhaps Mandela or Kennedy, Lincoln or Shakespeare. None of these, although all are worthy. Far too many of my favourite quotes come from a far less reputable individual – the great Hunter S Thompson. 

“When the going gets tough, the weird turn professional”. 

No idea what it means, but it seems apt. And a compass for one’s life. So, weird or not, the review…

But then I thought, why not share more of the wisdom of Hunter S. Anyone wanting to go further on this, there are literally thousands of his gems (and even more that might be thought of as fools’ gold) on the net. I should add that a fair whack of these are a very long way from the life I have led, while applies very much apply and presumably do for many of us. 

May I say that anyone who has not read him should do so immediately, especially ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’. 

Did have an old girlfriend who met him many years ago in a bar in Colorado – when I say ‘met’, I mean exchanged a few words while he slumped in a corner pouring Jim Beam down his throat at the rate of knots and occasionally stirring to yell inanities before going outside to fire his Colt something into the mountains, then returning to repeat the entire thing, before his wife eventually arrived to drag him home. 

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.”

“So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?”

“Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”

“Music has always been a matter of Energy to me, a question of Fuel. Sentimental people call it Inspiration, but what they really mean is Fuel. I have always needed Fuel. I am a serious consumer. On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio.” I have to kenfess that he is not alone in this. 

“If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up.” 

“In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.”

“Good people drink good beer.”

“Freedom is something that dies unless it's used.”

“Yesterday's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.”

“You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.”

“I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes.”

“Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube.”

“A word to the wise is infuriating. ” 

“It was like falling down an elevator shaft and landing in a pool full of mermaids.” 

“I have never seen much point in getting heavy with stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I... And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots.”

“Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whiskey and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.”

“The highways are crowded with people who drive as if their sole purpose in getting behind the wheel is to avenge every wrong done them by man, beast or fate. The only thing that keeps them in line is their fear of death, jail and lawsuits.”

“Breakfast is the only meal of the day that I tend to view with the same kind of traditionalized reverence that most people associate with Lunch and Dinner. I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every twenty-four hours, and mine is breakfast. In Hong Kong, Dallas or at home — and regardless of whether or not I have been to bed — breakfast is a personal ritual that can only be properly observed alone, and in a spirit of genuine excess. The food factor should always be massive: four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crepes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned beef hash with diced chiles, a Spanish omelette or eggs Benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and something like a slice of Key lime pie, two margaritas, and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert… Right, and there should also be two or three newspapers, all mail and messages, a telephone, a notebook for planning the next twenty-four hours and at least one source of good music… All of which should be dealt with outside, in the warmth of a hot sun, and preferably stone naked.”

“Pray to God, but row away from the rocks.”

“I'm a relatively respectable citizen. Multiple felon perhaps, but certainly not dangerous.” 

“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.”

Okay, I'm back. Forgive that wander down the track of nostalgia, but when one is at death’s door fighting the forces of evil and internal slime, one takes what solace one can find. 

The cigar. SLR Regios – in truth, I cannot remember ever having one before, an appalling oversight. Box press. Slightly dry wrapper which was quite pale. Opened rich and toasty. None of the stonefruit I associate with SLR (thanks to the apparently discontinued DC’s – something Hunter S might have referred to as the final sin). A roasted note, the toastiness persisted, nuts, warm earth and tobacco leaf (yes, that is an odd and possibly useless inclusion). Caramel then moved in and became the dominant note, with some chocolate. The burn was a touch wonky which knocked the score down a point or so but I liked it. 91. 

This might sound odd, but it struck me that this was the quintessential cigar. Not the best necessarily, but if I had to pick a cigar to show an alien what a cigar was, this would be ideal. Not sure if that makes sense. 

The Four Square 2004 Rum was an absolute cracker. Love this and I think it has appeared before. Honeycomb, florals, biscuity, beautifully fragrant and complex. Seductive texture, layered and finishing with notes of honey. A fantastic rum and the caramel and texture made it the perfect match for the SLR. 

The Lagavulin 8-Year-Old is a very fine malt and in the style I really like. Lovely lemon peel notes and peat. It offered soft citrussy smoky notes. Dry herbs. If anything, it might be a fraction raw and broad but it is an excellent whisky. 

The smoky/peaty notes made it a very fine match for the cigar, although if I had to pick between two excellent combinations, probably the rum was marginally the winner. 

But to have both the Islay malt and the rum was overkill. Rather like Hunter S’s breakfast!

KBG