Kenfessions

Oh, talk about Sophie’s choice. The weight of the world hanging on a couple of decisions.

As soon as all the rugby league players and wives and families and parasites were across the border, it was closed for health reasons. Those jelly-backed vermin called politicians (always amazes me that there are not a lot more assassinations – I guess they are not worth the cost of a bullet) shut the border for health reasons. The monumental hypocrisy. But that is not today’s topic (it is every day’s topic, but we’ll leave it for now).

The border closure means I might miss the annual fishing trip – for which I would never forgive any of them. Have spoken with the government representatives and they assure me I can get back. The border pass thingee on the internet suggests so as well. Of course, that does not mean that the cops on the border will agree. So I might be stuck for a month (plus I am trying to settle the new place, not easy interstate).

Worse places to be stuck – I remember being in Europe when that Icelandic volcano with the unpronounceable name shut all…

Aug 5

Aug 5 Cohiba Robusto – Stanton & Killeen Rare Muscat

We were headed up river, the same direction as Kurtz. Okay, I know that for most of us, that would mean a trip up the Mekong, but this is Conrad’s Kurtz, not Coppola’s. There are moments in your life when you look back and think, perhaps that would have been the time for a good cigar.

Bit over thirty years ago I did the big backpacker thing for the best part of a year – mostly Africa and parts of Asia. In those days, I had about one cigar a year and I remember I took one on that trip (it spent seven months in my backpack before I smoked it at a group final dinner in Kathmandu – no prizes for guessing what a shocker it must have been).

With all the house/Covid/life crap going on (and yes, so many people so much worse off than I am), I decided I needed an afternoon outside with a good cigar and a drink. Work stuff delayed this and so the big cigar planned was reduced, and I opted for a CoRo for this Kenfessions. Matched it with a Stanton & Killeen Rare Muscat. Take me now lord, that is such a monumentally…

Jul 20

Jul 20 Montecristo LE Sublimes 2008 - Havana Club Barrel Proof Rum (Flor de Cana 7-Year-Old Rum).

A gutful of deadlines, impending border closures, Covid jabs, no new digs on the horizon unless I win gold lotto pronto, missing Rob's annual lunch. Needed a decent cigar and I had collected some of Rob's famous seconds for Kenfessions, so late Saturday arvo was allocated.

Rolled out the outdoor couch and gear, got a terrific book and some rums and picked an old fave from the bundle. Current digs are terrific - how many places can you look out the window and see whales leaping? This is one of a set of town houses on the northern side of the creek at HP (the old man and his mates built them several decades ago and most are still in the same family hands from back then) and during the week, and many weekends, hardly a soul to be seen. This weekend, the family next door (fantastic people - I used to work worth, well actually for, the patriarch back in the legal days and always one of the nicest guys you could meet) with the grandkids, who have healthy lungs! The other side, the sons of their patriarch have about 20 of their mates down for a weekend session, but they are all good kids - last seen heading off to…

Jul 2

Jul 2 Ramon Allones Superiores – Husk Bam Bam Spiced Rum, plus apps.

May I take this opportunity to point out how delighted I was to see our lord and master stuff up and wipe, not one but two video reviews, thanks to technical incompetence. I am not the only technosaur involved in this chaos.

I will confess that technology and I are not always close.

Apps. Lord spare me, why does the world needs apps? We all got along perfectly well without them. Now, apparently, you can’t go anywhere without using apps. Generations lived and died without apps and did so perfectly happily. We invented phones, air-con, television, cars and so much more and those people had never been weighed down with apps. Before we had apps, we did not have Covid!! Think about that.

We got to the moon without apps. Granted we got to the moon before someone had the brilliant and so simple idea to put little wheels on suitcases, so we didn’t get everything right.

But now I apparently need apps to travel and to park. Spare me.

The annual release of the Penfold's Collection is going ahead this year, and it will be followed by a dinner for some of the hard workers to celebrate the…

Jun 17

Jun 17 Cohiba Espléndido – Alberta Premium Cask Strength Rye.

A friend put me onto Ricky Gervais’ brilliant series, ‘After Life’. Funny but rather depressing. If you are not familiar, he plays a bloke who has lost the love of his life and just wants it all to end it all and has become the world’s rudest man. There are times you just go, ‘well, I know how he feels’.

But I suspect that unless you are someone who genuinely suffers from depression, then you don’t. I've been fortunate in that, despite being told far too many times by ‘mates’ that I really have a lot to be depressed about, I have only ever suffered very brief bouts. If you have not, then you are seriously fortunate. It is an insidious, horrendous thing. While I have been fortunate, I have seen first hand – as I am sure many of us have – just how awful it can be. A close friend suffered for many years and it simply destroys lives. Incredibly frustrating in that nothing you can do seems to help. I suspect that there are very few of us who have not been affected by the loss of friends or family, induced by depression. A very good mate of mine, would have done anything for his kids (and did), lost a son last week. Gutting beyond comprehension. No warning.

I often think of a couple of friends now gone. And we often talk about them with other friends. None of us had a clue it was likely. Is that our fault? Don’t know. One girl – this is from many years ago – had the world at her feet. Loved by everybody, not a bad word ever spoken about her, brilliant, incredibly…

May 27

May 27 Partagas Lusitania (TEB May 08) – Isla del Tesoro Rum

It is not easy to be grumpy down on the northern NSW coast – such a beautiful place. Family has been coming here since before I was born. Fishing was far better then, but where was it not? I try and get up and do the dawn beach walk each morning (lot of rain coming later in the week so there might be a sleep-in).

Exquisite this morning. But there is always someone who’ll throw a Spaniard in the works. Every now and again, the horse brigade turn up – if you think cyclists who believe that road rules are not for them and wobble along, lycra-clad fifty-year-olds, two abreast while traffic piles up behind, are bad, they have nothing on horse people. They really do believe they are above any form of courtesy and rules. Their horses crap all over the beach, usually to their amusement. This was such a morning.

Then there are the dog walkers. Most of the dogs are great – far better than their owners – but every so often…

May 19

May 19 Cohiba Siglo 1 – Glenfarclas 25-Year-Old

Well, this was interesting. I assume that in these days of weird and wonderful technology, something would or could be inserted here to allow that ‘do do do do do do’ riff which is the theme to the ‘The Twilight Zone’ to play. If not, could we all join in a rousing rendition. It would be most appropriate.

Why? This was a cigar of two halves, if I may plunder one of sport’s worst cliches.

First, small cigars. For me, so rarely do they have a place. What is the point? I really don’t get it. Today, sort of. I sort of wanted a cigar but sort of didn’t, if that makes any sense – it makes no sense to me so don’t feel alone! Not had one for ages as been trying to catch up on work and drag myself out of chaos, self-imposed and otherwise (down at the beach shack, I try and do a spell of mother-sitting back in Brizzy every week and also collect all the samples – who is going to whinge when one is the Flor de Cana V Generaciones, their astonishing 30-Year-Old rum). But trying to head back to the shack, on a good run it takes around an hour 40. This time? Four hours. Peak hour and road works. Nightmare. Still have not found…

Apr 30

Apr 30 H. Upmann No 2 – Wild Yak Beer - Glenfarclas 21-Year-Old

Had a squizz back through the records as I figured that both the Upmann 2 and the Glenfarclas 21-Year-Old must have both figured in Kenfessions before. And they have, though only once each and not as a combination. The beer? Well, it was just one of those perfect afternoons. So down for a read and a cigar.

The wildlife was in full swing, to provide some extra entertainment. Rosellas in the trees, a young scrub turkey (when I was somewhat younger than I might be these days, scrub turkeys were very wary of any humans and would disappear as fast as they could – now, not a problem. They will happily forage just feet from you if you stay reasonably still), the occasional sea eagle overhead and plenty of other birds, plus a young bearded dragon, happily sunbathing. He didn’t mind when I came close for a look, but what does scare the bejeesus out of them is any shadow from a passing bird. If you have ever seen a hawk take a dragon, and they can take dragons several times bigger than they are, you can easily understand why.

Last time it was me ranting about the imbecilic government not locking looney tunes…

Nov 3

Nov 3 The Fraser Island Mix - Part 2 (with photo gallery).

We made the trip up the Island on the Saturday and the first real chance for a good cigar was back at the lodge on the Sunday. A Trinidad Fundadore. Anyone hoping for detailed and considered reviews of these cigars will have surely realised that this is not the column for that, at least not this time. Over the afternoon, as I continued with ‘Lords of the Fly’ and also the latest in the Sam Wyndham series by Abir Mukherjee, ‘Death in the East’ – cracking series for those who enjoy a good detective read. This is the fourth, and perhaps his best. Set in India back in the '30s. But the drinks for the Fundie – Domaine Chandon Blanc des Blancs 2015, Grant Burge Rose and a Stonier Chardy but the exact one escapes me – these are…

Aug 19

Aug 19 The Corona Gorda Crush - Punch Punch (REG ENR19) – Seppeltsfield Barossa Shiraz 2020 Gin - Glenfarclas 15-Year-Old Malt Whisky.

The Punch Punch will surely be a cigar familiar to most, as we come towards the end of our little journey through the Corona Gorda world, as brief as it has been.

And what a joy it turned out to be. They come in good old-fashioned boxes of 25 (none of the ten or eight or whatever malarkey). 143 x 46mm.

Opened with a good draw. The construction looked fine, though obvious box press. A fine wrapper with plenty of those attractive russet notes. The opening flavours were dominated by a lovely walnut character. Some earthy tones, woody, spicy and perhaps even a smidge of vanilla. Some leather. Richly flavoured and sitting above medium-bodied. Earthy notes emerged more and more. This is a cigar which…

Jun 16

Jun 16 The Corona Gorda Crush (well, I couldn’t think of a better name) – H. Upmann Magnum 46 – Holgate Double Trouble - Equipo Navazos ‘La Bota de Ron’ No 65.

First up for the new series (and can someone please come up with a better name) looking at some of our Corona Gorda (plural?), H. Upmann Magnum 46. The code, if I can decipher Whipcrack’s scribblings, TOU ABR 19.

I thought I had probably done this cigar too many times for Kenfessions over the years, so I checked. As it turns out, only twice, including once quite recently. The first time, for reasons that probably seemed appropriate at the time, was when I decided to give a dissertation on funerals, the good, awful and hilarious. It went with a Tassie gin, Dasher & Fisher Meadow Gin, and got 92. The much more recent one, just 86. With a weird Kiwi Orange Liqueur called Rose Rabbit and a terrific Blanton’s Bourbon. No mention of funerals.

When I first started looking at cigars seriously, I smoked a lot of these. I remember my thoughts being…

Jun 3

Jun 3 Punch Regional Release Asia Pacific 8-9-8 – Lagavulin 8-Year-Old - Chateau Thivin Beaujolais.

Okay, this one might be cheating a little. Well, perhaps not cheating – fudging.

It is not that long since we did this cigar on video (I am delighted/amazed that I remember it – perhaps the memory is not quite so poor), so I would encourage anyone interested to have a look as there was not much change. Also, as many might be aware, I think matching red wine and cigars would like pouring ice-cream over wagyu. Actually, I would prefer that.

So why? Why would I try something I know to be a trainwreck? Well, because I had a look through a range of absolutely cracking Beaujolais recently and had some left, so shoehorning them into this review allows me to expound on them. Didn’t want anyone missing out.

Right, first, the cigar. The Punch…

May 22

May 22 Robusto Rumble – Por Larranaga Robustos de Larranaga. 2007 Regional Release Asia Pacific. EMA Oct 07 – Zacapa Royal - Palo Cortado

Well, this is a bit embarrassing. Was doing some isolation cleaning up yesterday and came across an empty half-bottle of Palo Cortado sherry, amongst full bottles on the kitchen bench. So of course, I tossed it in the rubbish. Collected. Gone. Forgotten.

Today, I sit down to do the next Kenfessions and remember why I kept the empty – to remind me which Bodega made it, plus details. Whoops. So all I can tell you now is that it was a palo cortado.

This, the Por Larranaga Robustos de Larranaga. 2007 Regional Release Asia Pacific. EMA Oct 07, is also a cigar we looked at recently. A post on the forum recently revealed just how extensive the number of Robustos were, so we are not going to get through them all for our Robusto Rumble, but we are doing our best (and yes, there is a valid…

May 18

May 18 Trinidad La Trova (RAG AGO 17) – Wild Turkey Master’s Keep 1894 Bourbon - Kahlua - Homemade Ginger Beer